Thursday, August 04, 2005

Corporate Speak

From their website:
"Conscious Media Inc. is a diversified media company"

Translation: We're not exactly sure what we do either.

"that serves the needs and interests of conscious lifestyle consumers"

Translation: We make shit for yuppies. Especially conscious ones. We used to try selling shit to yuppies who were unconscious, but it just didn't work out.

"Through our various business units, we provide unrivaled access to and understanding of this growing marketplace which numbers over 65 million people."

Translation: 65 milion self-satisfied customers. Apparently, they sell "health" and "sustainability" "lifestyle products". Imagine scented-candles and foam mats and white people who want to know more about Eastern philosophy, so long as they don't have to read any of it. Come with us. Learn to embrace your navel.

2 comments:

Paula said...
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Paula said...

That's a funny post.
There should be a course on understanding the true meaning of corporate speak. I wonder if these people use this just in the corporate world or incorporate it into their personal lives.