Saturday, June 24, 2006

A Steel Glove

Note to my wife: This is the steel glove that I told you about. Actually, the one on the left is cooler, but it is more expensive. The one on the right, however, is also an authentic steel glove. As you know, I want it. 'Why' you might ask do I want it? Because it is a steel glove.
A. Steel. Glove.
Made of fine German Steel by expert steel glove craftsmen. Guaranteed to strike fear into the hearts of ne'erdowells, serfs and highwaymen alike. Recognized by experts of awesomeness the world over as truly awesome. This steel glove is comparable to steel gloves that you might see in stores for hundreds, or even thousands (but, probably hundreds) of dollars. And yet it can be yours for 137 euro. May I repeat that this is a steel glove.

Now, dear, you might ask: "Rufus, why do you need a steel glove?" To which I would respond, first, and elegantly: "Because it is a steel glove." And then you might ask for other reasons. Well, how about security? On a dark city street, late at night, who would mess with a man wearing a steel glove? Nobody- that would be suicidal!

And I would be the talk of the social set at parties. "Who is that intriguing man with the steel glove?"

"I don't know, but I have to find out!"

And you might be saying, "But, Rufus, how will we pay our bills if you go around buying steel gloves?" No matter. Nobody will try to get money from a man wearing a steel glove. That would be suicidal.

So, I know that you have your reasons for questioning my need for a steel glove, but let me tell you a story about a young boy who dreamed of one day growing up and buying himself a steel glove. Look into your heart, and ask yourself: "Could I deny that boy his dream? Could I really?"

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