Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Pete's Couch

Hard to believe the government is trying the tactic of making realistic anti-drug ads. Instead of the "I smoked pot and wound up dead!" commercials, they've got a new batch of ads that argue that pot heads are usually safe, but they can be pretty damn boring. I'm guessing that 'Pete's Couch' will be the cult classic of the bunch. It's my favorite so far, although "Whatever" is pretty good too.

(It starts off with the 'Okay, kids, we're going to cut the crap' line)
Kid: I smoked weed and nobody died. I didn't get into a car accident, I didn't O.D. on heroin the next day, nothing happened.
(So, wait, all the other ads were not true?...)
We sat on Pete's couch for 11 hours. Now what's going to happen on Pete's couch? Nothing.
(We ate a lot of junk food and laughed at things that weren't very funny, and watched stupid movies, and relaxed for an hour or two...)
You have a better shot of dying out there in the real world, driving hard to the rim, ice skating with a girl. No, you wanna keep yourself alive, go over to Pete's and sit on his couch til you're 86. Safest thing in the world.
(Well, until the lunatic drug enforcement agents charge in and shoot the pet like your basement is a war zone.)
Me? I'll take my chances out there. Call me reckless.
("Me? I do cocaine because I'm into extreme sports!")

The next one would be: "I dropped acid, and I didn't try to fly, or wind up in a mental institution. But, boy did I write a lot of really shitty poetry!"

But, I like it. A commercial telling kids to get out into the real world and live. How about one that says: "Face book- it's really boring", or "Stop blogging and live". (Gulp!)

Of course, the obvious question then is, if pot doesn't actually put you in danger, why are so many kids like Pete getting locked in jail for decades for smoking it? And, if it makes people so boring, what kind of nanny state do we have that the government is allocating so many resources to making sure that kids are interesting? (read: 'more productive') And couldn't you smoke pot one day and go ice skating the next? Is it any healthier to be one of those athletic freaks that plays sports every day of the week? And, lastly, if pot doesn't make you wreck the car, or turn to heroin, why did you people lie for so many years?

No comments: