Monday, May 19, 2008

The Hublot Big Bang

Strolling up and down the Champs Elysees every day to the park with wifi, I am developing expensive tastes. Or, maybe my tastes are becoming “refined”. I think most people, when they talk about “refined” tastes, really mean “expensive” tastes. One dead giveaway that someone is new money: they see another person with something incredibly gaudy and expensive and the first thing they say is, “Well, there’s sophistication!” Of course, I’m not personally old money or new money; I’m no money.

All the same, I can look can’t I? After a while, you develop an eye. I suspect that I could, by now, tell you how long most clothes will last by looking at them. I can also identify my favorite designers: Jean-Paul Gaultier and Alexander McQueen presently: at sight. I can also tell you what lines I don’t care for: Lacoste is what you wear on the tennis court while waiting for your rich parents to die (well, or as an ironic outfit to wear while committing a violent homicide), American Outfitters is a national embarrassment, and Versace, for me, is like the fall of the Roman Empire, but worse.

Parisians, of course, dress very well, and it makes it easy to spot the tourists, but impossible to spot the gay male Parisians. I have no idea how they find each other honestly. You generally see more lesbian couples here. It was Claire who pointed out to me that there really are some lesbians who dress really well; all of them I’d ever known by and large dressed like they were on their way to a barn raising. She has also pointed out to me while watching The L Word together that there are lesbians with some really incredible watches, which is honestly something that I wouldn’t have noticed in a million years.

Which all leads me in my rambling way to the point of all this: I believe that the Hublot watch known as the Big Bang is the greatest watch I’ve ever seen. Specifically, the all-black aero bang model; the model with jewels is a bit much. But the all black ceramic model looks like the sort of thing that James Bond would have worn to the moon. If I saw a lesbian wearing this thing, I’d let her fist me. Of course, tastes are subjective. And my own tastes aren’t that refined: after all, I usually dress like a landscaper. But, in my estimation, this watch is paramount.

5 comments:

Holly said...

I'm going to tell myself that getting fisted by someone wearing a very slick watch isn't already one of the kinks of the known world.

rufus said...

If it hasn't already been a topic on Oprah, it probably isn't.

Holly said...

I finally got around to looking at Steve McQueen, and I have to ask.... where do people wear these things?? Specifically, I'm looking at Look 7 under the Womenswear spring/summer. But the question extends to several of the other looks, as well.

I'm not knocking it, I understand that fashion is one of the performing arts. But you say you recognize it when you see it... WHERE the hell are you seeing it?!

Holly said...

hahaha, sorry, Alexander McQueen.

Steve McQueen should totally have had a fashion line, too.

rufus said...

Oh, you'd never believe the sort of clothes you see on the street in Paris. It's like a cross between a fashion show, a parade, and an anime con. Well, until tourist season, and then it's a lot of tourists in "casual Friday" clothes.

I'm a fan of Steve McQueen too, but with Alexander McQueen he used to be a costume designer for the theatre and I like his stuff because you can really tell that was his background!

What I'll do for fun is read the fashion magazines and try to guess the designers before I read that captions. Most of them I can't pick out, but with those two, they're hard to miss.