Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Someone stole our snow shovels!

I tell ya'- it's a bunch of savages in this town. Someone stole our snow shovels. It would be upsetting, if it wasn't somehow funny. I have an image of a mangy dude running down the street with a snow shovel and diving into a runaway van.

See, in southern Ontario, we shovel a lot of snow. And so, most people keep their snow shovels on the front porch. Alas, this did not work for me and Claire, who woke up a few days ago to find our shovels missing. I think I screamed, ''My shovels! My beautiful shovels!'' So, we had to go to Canadian Tire and buy some replacements, which are now stored in the basement.

I guess there's some drug addict selling our snow shovels in a dark alley somewhere in Hamilton. Our neighbor tells us that there used to be a guy roaming around Hamilton stealing lawn ornaments. So, clearly, our town has a theif who cares very much about the appearance of his front lawn- the Home and Garden Bandit.


gregvw said...

Apparently, Garrison Keillor's meandering yarns of human decency in algid climes are not representative of what actually happens when people are confronted by nature's boreal fistings.

Footnote: Algid Climes would make an excellent pseudonym. Boreal Fistings not so much.

rufus said...

No, definitely, in the Taiga, it's every man for himself.