I tell ya'- it's a bunch of savages in this town. Someone stole our snow shovels. It would be upsetting, if it wasn't somehow funny. I have an image of a mangy dude running down the street with a snow shovel and diving into a runaway van.
See, in southern Ontario, we shovel a lot of snow. And so, most people keep their snow shovels on the front porch. Alas, this did not work for me and Claire, who woke up a few days ago to find our shovels missing. I think I screamed, ''My shovels! My beautiful shovels!'' So, we had to go to Canadian Tire and buy some replacements, which are now stored in the basement.
I guess there's some drug addict selling our snow shovels in a dark alley somewhere in Hamilton. Our neighbor tells us that there used to be a guy roaming around Hamilton stealing lawn ornaments. So, clearly, our town has a theif who cares very much about the appearance of his front lawn- the Home and Garden Bandit.