Friday, February 04, 2011

Lots of Questions, Not A Lot of Answers

I came across this article about the effects of porn consumption on relationships, and I found it interesting. It's incomplete, and very biased, and not at all scientific. But it articulates, from the male point of view, something I have observed myself. Namely, the bond between a man and his porn can damage the bond between a man and his woman.

Also... the pictures cracked me up.


rufus said...

It might sound funny, given my trashy aesthetic tastes, but I've never really understood porn. It always seemed like they're taking one of the most emotional experiences in life and portraying it in a totally unemotional way, which I find sort of eerie. It's also totally amazing that people watch so much of it online- I'd be afraid that my computer would get a virus if I did that.

Holly said...

This is probably a ridiculously subtle difference, but I've found *actual* intimate encounters (any level of intimacy, from eye contact on) far more affecting than any staged scene. So still porn, which sort of puts the viewer in the photographer's place, just seems weird. My brain rejects it -- "I don't know that person, why are they showing me their genitalia??" And motion picture porn has no place for the viewer. Voyeurism isn't my thing. Even intimate scenes in films make me uncomfortable because it's hollow -- people going through the motions of something that's supposed to be intense -- only we all know it's fake.

On the other hand, some photographers have done stills of their lovers, or stills of couples, that have a much stronger thrill quality to them, simply because there is real intimacy. It's not faked.

re - online porn and viruses... sure they get them! but when you're infatuated, you'll do any stupid thing, right? "I don't care if ______, I just have to see my baby!"

Rufus said...

One of the regulars at the other site makes pornographic documentaries about couples. He likes to argue that nobody else is doing any sort of movies that show love and sex in a positive light.

I guess the movies that I actually find aesthetically appealing are ones that sort of focus on the beauty or sexuality of the character, instead of showing a lot of sex. Hitchcock's Vertigo is one- the way he films Kim Novak in that movie is totally worshipful and I feel like my job as an audience member is to think "Wow, she's really beautiful"- which I can handle. So there are some "erotic" dramas that are the same way that I can enjoy, but yeah, they tend to be all about the tease and not have a lot of sex scenes.

Rufus said...

Incidentally, my therapist wife tells me that the term for this condition is "porn creep".