Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Hispanic Satanic Panic

I know that about 90 per cent of the items that I post here amount to ''Hey, look at this stupid thing that some idiot said!'' But, somehow you just can't beat an article that begins with the sentence: ''Utah County Republicans ended their convention on Saturday by debating Satan's influence on illegal immigrants.'' It gets sillier from there on out, and I have to wonder if there's a better journalist to write an article on Satan than one named 'Caleb Warnock'. And I think not. Anyway, some old farts in Utah had a meeting and one fellow started crying about how the Mexicans are going to destroy the US and some other random nobody rambled about how illegal immigrants are ''Marxist and under the influence of the devil.'' Oh and some daffy housefrau said that if the Democrats get elected, we'll all die. So, there's nothing constructive about posting this here; it just makes me laugh. Maybe the Devil made me do it.
Note: The nice thing about this though is that the guy has succeeded in combining three different sources of dread- illegal immigrants, Satan, and Marxism- into one grand conspiracy theory. Somebody really needs to develop a unified field conspiracy theory to combine all of the theoretical conspiracies out there into one big conspiracy. I guess Robt. Anton Wilson tried that in the vastly-entertaining Illumintus trilogy, but it needs to be simplified and mass-marketed. Sell the DVDs in gas stations and mini marts. If people buy stuff like The Secret and The DaVinci Code, they'll certainly buy this.


Anonymous said...

I think we might also be able to work in a little aliens from outer space action before the whole thing is over. I, personally, believe Hillary is a reptoid. I saw her little tongue flick out when the mask slipped one time. She'll masquerade to the dron-like marxist illegal aliens as a satan figure causing them to rise up and make us all automatons for the space alien invaders. I know this because the code is in the Salt Lake City temple.

Rufus said...

To quote the Dead Milkmen- 'It's the queers! They're in it with the aliens! They're building landing strips for gay Martians! I swear to God!'

I think we could probably also work the Jews and the Freemasons in there somewhere. But I do like the image of Hilary working with the alien overlords. Now we just need to show how the images on a dollar bill reveal all of this.