Monday, January 09, 2006

Going Riding on the Threeway

From ArtNet:
"Austria began its six-month reign of the European Union presidency with the bang of an international scandal. As widely reported, two billboard artworks in "25peaces," part of 'euroPART,' a larger public art project curated by Walter Seidl and Ursula Maria Probst, were removed after public outcry."

From Der Spiegel's description of the billboards:
"A topless woman sprawls on a bed with her legs spread wearing blue panties decorated with the EU's symbol, a circle of yellow stars. A few streets away three individuals are hard at it: their unambiguous, naked poses show them indulging in a menage à trois. The participants wear masks of France's President Chirac, the British Queen and United States President George W. Bush."

I guess when you're bleary-eyed and nursing your morning coffee on the way to work, you're not quite in the mood to look at a good old cunt-lapping threesome. Maybe to participate... But, I'm guessing there are laws about such billboards anyway, or we'd be seeing hardcore porn on them by now. "Like anal? Well, you'll love Pepsi!"

So, anyway, the Austrians had a Sheissefitten and took the billboards down. Angry politicos claim that they are an insult to the Queen Mum, who after all, preferred the reverse cowgirl position. Now, the Austrians don't have to look at underpants on their way to the nude beach. So, that's good.

What's really shocking about the art though is how insipid it is. The artist Carlos Ares (who has done much better work before) says that his corny threesome pictures depict "the most recent changes in Europe and the resulting special constructions", but that's like saying those stickers of Calvin of Calvin & Hobbes peeing on things are "a stirring expression of existential dread in contemporary society". Of course, creating kitsch isn't a crime- if it was, Michael Bay would have gotten the chair by now. But, it's like modern artists are riding this wave of dumb; maybe taking their cues from Brittney Spears and 50 Cent- the cultural vanguard of stupid. Eventually, our "masterpieces" will be paintings of the Madonna in a thong peeing on a Ford logo. So, it's all too silly, but I'd support outlawing kitsch and sending Tori Spelling and Usher to pick up trash along the highway.

And, again, Queen Liz really did prefer reverse cowgirl.

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